Role at HPP: I.T. Manager
Year joined HPP: 2004
In the industry since: 2004
What is your best trait?
My "singing in the shower voice" and the fact that I can still do the Caterpillar. (That last bit isn't true, I never really perfected it, not properly.)
What was your dream job from childhood?
Bizarrely…I wanted to be a vet as I do like animals, but unfortunately my wife doesn't. This is my biggest issue with her, but for better or worse and all that. She has compromised for the children's sake and we now are the proud parents of a Giant African Land Snail called Malcolm Jr. Jr. Rainbow Evans, which is ironic as it's an albino snail. Its grandfather and father were called Malcolm and Malcolm Jr. respectively though.
Would you rather time travel back in time or forward in time?
Definitely back in time to see if I can change a few things around the world for the better…. and to buy a few Google / Apple / Microsoft shares early doors. Also, while I'm there I'd tell Steve Jobs that locking iOS down would bring about bad karma.
If you could visit your younger self, what words of wisdom would you bring?
Party less, wait….or more, I can't remember which.
Biggest fear?
Washing up, or at least that's what I tell my wife. (Washingupaphobia)
I'm happiest when:
I'm with my wife and kids, preferably outside. They are all pure entertainment to me, absolutely joyful. I'm never grumpy when they're about. Ever.
Although they may disagree with that if you asked them.
If you do try and verify this by speaking to them, be aware that they all tell lies so watch out for that…
What are your pet peeves?
Over charging garage mechanics - you know, the tutting and sucking air through teeth type. Leaving lights on in the cellar - why my 5 and 7 year old can't go down there in the dark like I do, I have no idea.
And my postman never puts my letterbox flap back down when he lifts it. I've mentioned it a number of times to no avail. I should really get a spring loaded one…that traps his fingers.
Things on your bucket list:
1: My wife accepts that she owes me a trip to Hawaii as she mixed dates up once on a round-the-world trip, so we only had a stop off of one night there. (She blames the date change somewhere near New Zealand). Although, I did eventually share a flight between Honolulu and the Big Island with the Hawaiian girls beach volleyball team (honest truth) BEST. FLIGHT. EVER.
2: Get lots of skiing in with the kids when they are older - snow sports are awesome, like totally rad.
3: To own a Patterdale terrier and not be too busy to take it for long walks.
4: To stop the rattle coming from the back of my car.
5: Own a piece of woodland that leads to the sea and build my own log cabin on it.
6: Stop all war and eliminate all poverty.*
*These things are not in order of importance, I need to get rid of that rattle first.
Favourite author or musician:
I have a few, probably Johnny Cash or Elvis, but Vaughan Williams is also up there - he's good to listen to when I'm negotiating the madness that is the rush hour M60. A bit of a mix really. It depends entirely on what I am doing and what mood I'm in really. My author likes are equally mixed, but mostly I enjoy books on coding and querying databases. Honest.